Being disconnected from the self, not having a sense of who one is, can create such behavior. It’s like the person is not in his or her body and can therefore not direct correctly one’s emotions or actions.
This is also a very confusing situation having devastating effects on the person's psychological health and wellbeing.
There are also cases when people end up with a fake sense of who they are. That happens usually when a person ends up being caught up in a role and in an over identification with that role. The person will then stick to that role – as a mother, son, daughter, student, teacher, lawyer, wife, husband, etc. – as a source of identity.
When the role becomes the single source of identity, in the case the role is lost, because of divorce, kids growing up, losing one’s job, finishing school, and so on, the person loses all sense of identity and feels therefore horrible.
That’s actually one of the ways people lose themselves.
When you know who you are, you can live an authentic life. You become you, master over your body, emotions, direction in life. You can of course, without losing touch with yourself, also go into roles like the ones mentioned above but those roles will not take over.
The road to getting to know yourself is the road of self-discovery. It’s nothing you acquire from different sources as a source of identification, but it’s something that you already are, something that is already in you.
It’s not about what you should like, dislike, feel or not feel, according to what you think other people expect of you, or what your parents, society at large or anyone else expects you to be, feel and think, but about what you truly, as an individual, given all factors that created you thinks and feels.
And if you don’t know what you really feel about something, don’t force an opinion on it oftentimes because someone on the TV said so. Admit to yourself that you have no clue whatsoever! Nothing wrong with that? Wait until you know more or until you form an attitude. And do not judge any thought, feeling or attitude that you discover within yourself as good or bad, but accept it as it is. If it’s really necessary you can at some point work on it, and also change it.
Some people might advise you to also make lists of the 5-10 most important things to you. Truly important to you and only you, that is not important in accordance to what is desirable in society or what your mother or teacher suggested should be important. Write down your strengths, your weaknesses, and make sure they are what they are and that you don’t mix up wanna-be or even worse, should-bees with who-you-truly-are.
Be creative in your self-discovery and do not ask for opinions from others because only you can know who you are.
As you discover your true self your feet will be firm on the ground. You will feel in charge of your life, your destinty and most importantly of yourself.
Last update: 2016-02-04
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