How to avoid negative comparisons to others

Indifferent of situation, all you really want is to be is yourself.

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Social comparison is the most natural thing in the world. Our brains create categorizations and it’s something we can’t really escape. While we sometimes can benefit from such categorizations, they can also cause us and the people around us harm, especially when the categorizations of good and bad, superior and inferior lead us to compare ourselves to others and when we derive our sense of self-worth from these comparisons.

Social comparison can sometimes lead to positive feelings of superiority, which can have negative consequences in itself. But this article is more about how to avoid comparing oneself with others that we perceive as superior to us and that usually leads to a feeling of lesser value, jealousy, depression or low self-esteem.

Realize that the only person you really want to be and will always be is the person that your are. Begin to appreciate yourself and start living your own life. No one else will do it for you.

Realize that each person has their own path in life, in a sense, their destiny. We are all different, with different backgrounds and characteristics. We cannot have the same life stories. Wouldn’t that be the most boring thing in the world by the way?

Realize that there are things that you have, that the other lacks. No human being is perfect. We cannot have everything. You do not have what someone else has, because that particular thing has not been important enough for you, otherwise you had put some energy into getting it.

Realize also that other people do not live to please you so that you avoid a negative social comparison. Most certainly will someone else compare yourself to you and you don’t spend sleepless nights on that one. That person can’t help either you have things or qualities that he or she wants.

Realize that the only thing that will make you feel good is to live a life in harmony with the person that you really are. Appreciate your gifts, develop them further and seek fulfillment through them.

Realize that the person you compare yourself with compares himself or herself with someone else too. Social comparison becomes in this sense a very vicious cycle.

Realize that being humble is a virtue that will always provide a safety net as failure and time periods of low self-esteem are a part of life. Thus it is worthwhile cultivating it.

Last update: 2016-02-02


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